


All that's best of dark and bright

by camichats



Category: Marvel
Genre: Bucky Barnes & Winter Soldier are Different Personalities, Communication, Established Winter Soldier/Tony Stark, First Kiss, Getting Together, Insecurity, Multi, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:41:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27358192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camichats/pseuds/camichats
Summary: Bucky thought it would feel great when Tony and Winter agreed to date him. Mostly he's confused and second-guessing himself at every turn.
Relationships: Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier/Tony Stark, Winter Soldier/Tony Stark
Comments: 16
Kudos: 168
Collections: StarkBucksBingo2020, Tony Stark Bingo Mark IV





	All that's best of dark and bright

**Author's Note:**

> Title: All that’s best of dark and bright  
> Collaborator Name: (for starkbucks bingo)-camichats, (for tony stark bingo)-4049 camichats  
> Square Filled: For Starkbucks Bingo: G4-Protectiveness, For Tony Stark Bingo: A4-Tower  
> Ship/Main Pairing: Tony Stark/Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier  
> Rating: Mature  
> Warnings: Some bad polyamory etiquette in the beginning, Non-con kiss  
> Tags: Bucky Barnes & Winter Soldier Are Separate Personalities, Polyamory, Established Winter Soldier/Tony Stark, Getting Together, Bad Polyamory Etiquette, Insecurity, Communication, First Kiss  
> Summary: Bucky thought it would feel great when Tony and Winter agreed to date him. Mostly he's confused and second-guessing himself at every turn.  
> Word Count: 4148

Bucky stuck his thumbs in his pockets and shifted his weight to the balls of his feet then back down, waiting for Winter to get back. He was about to check the time for the umpteenth time when Winter came out of the room. He walked straight from there to the kitchen. "So?" he asked, following him. "You and Tony talked?"

"We did," he said, not looking at Bucky and instead rummaging through the snack cabinet.

Bucky waited for him to elaborate-- always a game he lost with Winter-- and broke the silence after a long minute of waiting. "And? What did you decide?"

Winter set the can of nuts on the counter, then didn't move aside from a single metal finger tapping on the counter. Slowly, he turned to look at Bucky. "We are going to go slow. Right now, you are an addition to our relationship, not an equal partner. If you hurt him, we're done for good." No second chances, he meant. 

"I would never hurt him."

Winter stared at him evenly. In his own head, he never thought of his eyes as being cold, but the look Winter gave him couldn't be described as anything else. "We'll see."

"I won't hurt you either," he added, because Winter was like that. Always thinking of Tony and not himself. The fact that he'd resisted at all to Bucky joining their relationship was a shock because normally as soon as Tony said he wanted something, Winter was well on his way to already getting it for him.

"Don't care," Winter said, grabbing a bag of chips and the nuts and taking off.

Bucky watched him go and swallowed down the hurt. Maybe trying to have all three of them together wouldn't work, but as long as it was on the table, Bucky was going to take it in both hands and hold on tight.

Later, Bucky found them cuddling on the couch. If it had been before the agreement, he would have sat in the armchair next to them and pretended like it wasn't a spot designed so that he was close to them but also not seen as intruding. Now that they had talked though, he sat next to Winter, picked up Tony's feet and set them in his lap. "What're we watching?" he asked, not recognizing the generic car chase scene at a glance.

"Fast and Furious," Tony answered with a yawn, snuggling his face against Winter's legs and his feet between Bucky's. "I think number four."

If he hadn't been looking for it, he wouldn't have seen the slight tension running through Winter's shoulders. Tony was half-asleep by the time the movie ended, and Bucky was feeling a little sleepy himself. Winter however, was just as tense as he'd been as soon as Bucky had sat down.

Tony mumbled a good night to him before stumbling off with Winter's arm around his waist. Bucky said goodbye as well, but all Winter did was very carefully not glare at Bucky.

Bucky got to bed and stripped down to his boxers before climbing under the sheets. He sighed, closing his eyes and wishing that there were two warm bodies in the bed with him. His breathing got heavier when his thoughts turned more troubled than a simple wish. Winter hadn't been the least bit comfortable. He'd never been known to have a problem with anyone that didn't hurt Tony, and that had held true for Bucky until now. Despite thinking that he'd do this for as long as they let him… he couldn't. He wanted this-- god did he want it-- but not at the cost of making Winter this uncomfortable. Hell, if he tried to do this, Winter would end up hating him, and that's not something he ever wanted to experience. 

Him and Winter were two different people; he knew that, but they had something unique. There was a cast to their relationship that came from at one time being the same person. After sharing a head with someone, they held a special place in your life. And Bucky was hurting him by asking for this. 

"I hate this," he whispered to his pillow, and they both pretended that he wasn't crying-- the pillow wasn't doing a very good job of it.

* * *

When he woke up the next morning, the situation didn't feel quite as hopeless, but it still didn't look good. He went through his morning routine without even realizing it, mind too troubled for him to focus on mundane actions like brushing his teeth.

It was like he finally woke up when he ran out of mindless things to do. He was up and ready for the day, and he found that he didn't know what to do with himself. 

Okay. He just- he needed to think of something to do until his mind would actually cooperate. 

He was going to go for a run, and then he was going to find Winter and see if they could work this out. If they could, great. If they couldn't… well, it would be back to him and shoving down those feelings and pretending they didn't exist. He'd be able to do it. Of that much, he was sure. He hadn't even kissed Tony yet, it's not like he knew what he would be missing out on. As for Winter, well, he hadn't done anything with him yet either. Can't miss what you've never had. 

He ran into Winter as he was heading down the stairs, working an earbud into place. He froze, throat going dry. It felt a little egotistical to say that Winter was fucking gorgeous, but he knew that there were enough differences between their bodies now that he wasn't just complimenting himself. Winter was bigger, and he always exercised shirtless, so Bucky had a very nice view of his large, bare chest. "Uh. You going for a run?"

"Was going to," he grumbled, turning back around to head back to the penthouse.

"Wait!"

Winter paused, turning back to face him.

"Did you uh- want to run together?" he offered awkwardly. He wanted to do it so they could talk (and partly so he would get a view of Winter all sweaty and half-naked, especially since it might be the last time he was able to do it without pretending like he wasn't).

"Why?" he asked, suspicious.

"Just- ugh nevermind. I'll go to the gym, you can go out like you wanted."

Winter stopped him with his metal hand, firm and cool against Bucky's flesh arm. "We can go for a run," Winter said softly. "Take those things out." He yanked on Bucky's audio cord, and Bucky took them out, dumbfounded and trailing after him. Winter didn't say much, as usual.

Until they started running, where he got down right talkative.

"Sorry about last night," Winter said conversationally, as if they went running together at the crack of dawn and had these little conversations together all the time. "I'm not used to sharing Tony's… affection."

Dumbfounded, Bucky tried to get his mouth to work. He was just happy that he hadn't tripped over his feet and made a complete ass of himself, though the serum was certainly to thank for that feat. "It's fine," was what managed to come out.

"No it's not," Winter argued, expression hardening a little. "I agreed to this. I can't treat you like that when it's in the bounds of what I agreed to not twenty four hours beforehand."

"I get it though. He's your boyfriend, and you guys are close. Before now, all the things I've heard of like this meant there was something real fuckin' wrong in the relationship, but you guys aren't like that. He's not…" Bucky trailed off because he didn't really know where he'd been headed with that sentence. "I dunno, but it's not like he agreed to dating me because he's unhappy with you or because you don't give a shit about him." Bucky understood what Winter was feeling even though he hadn't experienced it himself. He'd never had someone to call his own, and the only person he'd taken care of was Steve, but ever since the serum, he hadn't needed him. At all. So yeah, Bucky couldn't relate to the specific situation, but he got it.

"He said yes because he likes you. It's as simple as that." 

"I like him too," Bucky said, because he knew that Winter worried about Tony constantly and didn't want him to be hurt by something as easily avoidable as unrequited feelings. "And I like you."

"Would you stop it with that?" Winter growled.

"Stop it with what?" Bucky asked, honestly confused. Had Winter told him that the agreement was null and void and he'd completely missed it? He replayed the last thirty seconds in his head and drew a blank. He'd thought they were working things out, and now he was as lost as he'd been when he woke up this morning.

"Telling me you like me. You're here for Tony. I know it, you know it, and he knows it, so shut up."

"I- what? You think I'm lying?"

Winter said nothing and stared ahead of them, stone-faced.

"Winter." Bucky grabbed his arm and slowed down until they were stopped, then moved in front of him; Winter looked to the side of his head, out of the way enough so that he didn't have to look at him, but close enough that he wasn't just turning around entirely. "Do you think I'm lying about wanting to be with both of you?"

"You like Tony," was the only answer he gave.

"So? I thought we just agreed that people can like more than one person at a time. Look Winter, if you don't want me, all you have to do is say so. I'm a grown man; I can take a little rejection." It would hurt like hell of course, to get so close to having what he wanted but have it gone before he had a chance to do anything with it, but he'd rather call it all quits right now than for them to try and power through and have it blow up in their faces. Because that's what would happen; it would blow up. There was no way of getting into that mess without it being equally messy to get out of. 

Winter's jaw clenched, and with that expression on anyone else, Bucky wouldn't be surprised if he was about to haul off and punch him in the teeth. He was pretty sure that Winter wouldn't do it to him though, if only because they were both Avengers, and there were rather strict rules about inter-team fighting. "You only want Tony."

Bucky blinked. "What?"

His eyes narrowed, and it had the sort of look that said 'don't you dare make me repeat myself I know you heard me just fine'.

"I told you that I want to be with both of you though, and I meant it. No offense Winter, but if I didn't like you too, I'm not sure it would be worth the trouble of dealing with you just to get Tony."

"He's definitely worth the trouble," Winter grumbled, but he seemed to be coming around to the idea that he was wrong about Bucky's feelings on the matter. "You… want me."

"Yeah."

"Like you want Tony," he added, and something was stirring in his grey eyes that had Bucky gulping.

"Yeah."

"Hm." He stepped into Bucky's space and pulled him in but the fabric on the front of his shirt. "You sure about that?" he asked, lips a bare whisper away from Bucky's. "I'm not going to let you fuck me."

"It's not about who's on top you know," Bucky whispered back.

With something close to a snarl, Winter kissed him, pressing their lips together hard. It felt fucking incredible, the way he was already pushing his tongue inside Bucky's mouth and nipping at his bottom lip, but there was a harsh edge to it that had Bucky wincing and pulling away despite how quickly it had arousal pooling in his groin.

"This isn't a power play. I don't need you to get all possessive about this. If that's what you want, then… we shouldn't be doing this." The last thing Bucky wanted was to back away, but he did it anyways. "You don't have to dominate me for us to be together; this isn't a fight. Or at least I don't want it to be one. If that's what you want," he repeated, "then tell me now and we can call this whole thing off."

Winter looked at him for a long moment. He cleared his throat, looking away. "Sorry," he said gruffly. "Want to-" he motioned towards the path.

"Sure." It was awkward because, well, how could it not be? Winter had kissed him, and while it had started as the most amazing first kiss ever, that wasn't exactly a story Bucky would be telling anyone.

A couple minutes later, Winter said, "I'm sorry," again.

"For what? You haven't done anything."

Winter cast a quick glare at him. "What just happened."

"And what just happened? We've been running. Unless I blacked out and you did something mean like trip me, there's nothing to apologize for."

"The kiss."

"You already apologized for that."

He went quiet again.

"Winter, seriously, it's fine. All this shit is confusing."

"…Would you let me try again?" he asked haltingly. "Some day?"

"I'd let you try again right now if you wanted, but I think you said somethin' about taking this slow."

"Slow's overrated," was all Winter said before he stopped running and grabbed Bucky's arm, pulling him in for another, much more enjoyable kiss off the running path-- not that there was anyone else around this early.

For all that Bucky had said-- and believed-- that sex (and by extension kisses) didn't have to be a power play, it took some getting used to. Winter was overbearing at first. Not on purpose, it's just what he was used to. Bucky bit at Winter's bottom lip, enjoying the plumpness of it, but Winter was obviously uncomfortable with it, so Bucky muttered out a quick "Sorry," and didn't do it again. Winter got his hands on Bucky's ass, and while he liked it, it meant that he had no idea what to do with his own hands. He ended up setting them on Winter's shoulders and using the hold to try and bring him closer, though there wasn't much closer that he could get without being inside Bucky.

It was only when he started grinding against Winter that he pulled away, panting. "We should stop."

Winter reluctantly let him go but didn't step back. "Why?"

"Public indecency is a crime last I checked. Pretty sure Coulson's going to read us the riot act if we get the Avengers PR that bad."

Winter looked around as if just realizing that yes, they were still by the running trail and not in the privacy of the Tower. "Right." He kissed Bucky again, quick and wet before stepping away. He adjusted himself through his shorts and sat on a park bench that was conveniently close. When Bucky stayed standing, Winter gave him a look. "I'm not running with a hard on."

Bucky laughed, rubbing a hand over his face. "Yeah that's fair. It doesn't seem like it would be very comfortable." He joined Winter on the bench as they waited for their bodies to calm down. "That was unexpected."

Winter gave him a sidelong look. "Are you complaining?"

"Definitely not," he said immediately. "Just surprised." 

They sat in silence on the bench for a minute. Their breathing got lighter, and the heat from earlier cooled down. "Sorry about before," Winter said. 

"You've already apologized for that. I told you, it's fine," Bucky said, but Winter shook his head. 

"Not that. When I told you that Tony had agreed, I said that you wouldn't be an equal partner." 

"I remember." 

Winter specifically didn't look over at him as he said, "That was a lie. Tony didn't say that." 

That hurt, but, "You never said that he did." 

"It was implied." Winter didn't add anything else, but he didn't need to. 

Bucky got it. So many people thought of them as interchangeable that it couldn't be easy for Winter to deal with _any_ of this. "You've been together for a while. It doesn't make any sense that I'd be able to slide in like any other relationship." 

"I made it sound like you didn't matter. You do." 

Bucky didn't know what to say to that, so he didn't say anything. 

* * *

Tony was awake when they got back from their run, and he grinned as he saw them. "Aw, look at the two of you bonding." He stirred his cereal, which probably meant he didn't realize that he was still holding that spoon and not the one in his coffee. Tired Tony was a purely adorable Tony, and Bucky loved it. 

That being said, he kind of hoped that Tony never found out the specifics of what had gone on during their run. The end result was good, but Tony had a tendency to worry. Which, by the way, was not something Bucky ever thought he'd say about Tony when they first met. "Yeah, you could say that we're like one mind." 

Winter snorted, ducking down to give Tony a kiss. He stole a sip of coffee then gave him another kiss. 

"Do you two always run together?" Tony asked, frowning a little like he thought the answer was yes and couldn't believe that he'd missed it for this long. 

"No, this was a first." 

"Boyfriend bonding?" Tony guessed. 

Bucky shrugged. "Something like that." 

"Huh. Cool. More power to you," Tony said, toasting them with his spoon. Curiosity satisfied, he turned back to his breakfast. "How do you feel about a lunch date?" 

Silence. 

Then, "He's asking you," Winter said. 

"Oh." Bucky had one hundred percent not gotten that. He'd become very accustomed to the idea that Winter and Tony were dating, and there weren't enough daydreams in the world to make up for the fact that he'd never truly thought that he'd get to be a part of it. 

"Technically it's an invitation for both of you, but Winter doesn't get out of the Tower much unless it's planned ahead of time, so I already know that he's fine with it." 

Bucky was pretty sure that being a part of their relationship wasn't actually going to make him understand the way that the two of them interacted. "Um, yeah, I can do lunch." 

"Awesome. Let's say," Tony glanced at Winter, but Winter wasn't even looking at him. Tony didn't let that stop him. Maybe it was just what he did when he needed to think? "One o'clock? I've got a meeting at eleven-thirty, but it shouldn't take long." 

After a few seconds, it became clear that Tony was waiting for a response. "Sounds good," Bucky said. 

* * *

"Has Winter seemed off to you?" Tony asked a couple days after their lunch date. Winter was talking to Natasha-- possibly giving each other facials; the rest of the Avengers had their theories, but none of them were confirmed-- and Bucky was killing time down in the workshop with Tony. 

"What do you mean 'off'?" 

"I don't know," Tony said, frowning down at the phone design in front of him. 

"Then no, he's seemed fine to me." 

"You sure?" 

"It kinda sounds like you're fishing for something, Tony. What're you talkin' about?" 

Tony didn't answer at first, fiddling with his stylus. "Never mind. I'm sure if you haven't noticed anything, then it's nothing." 

Bucky got the urge to flick something at him, so he did. The balled up piece of paper hit him straight on the shoulder, and he startled, looking over at Bucky. 

"What?" 

"I'm not an expert on Winter. Pretty sure you know him better than I do these days. You wanna talk, I'll listen." 

Tony set the stylus down a little hard, breathing out a frustrated sigh. "It's like he's pulling away. I'm not sure he's as comfortable with all of us dating as he told me. I tried to talk to him about it, but he said that everything was fine." 

"Maybe it is fine," Bucky said with a shrug. "I know that's not what you want to hear. Winter used to have a problem with it, but we talked, and it seemed like he was fine. It's a change. Things are different, so maybe he's just adjusting." 

"Maybe," Tony said. It didn't look like he believed it. 

"Do you want me to talk to him?" 

"If you want to," Tony said, which meant yes, but he didn't want to ask him to do it if he would be uncomfortable with it. 

"Yeah," Bucky said easily. "We need to talk more anyways, and if this is about the three of us, than the sooner we find out, the better." 

It took a while for the right moment to come around, but Bucky managed to find a second to talk to him before the end of the day. "Tony's worried, you know," Bucky said straight out instead of leading up to it. Leading up to a big talk never worked with Winter; he appreciated it when people said exactly what they meant-- in large part because he didn't understand the normal cues that everyone else learned as they grew up. 

"About what?" Winter asked, frowning. It was the sort of frown that often preluded pointing his gun at someone. 

"You. He said you've acting weird. Like something's wrong." 

Winter's frown deepened in confusion. 

"Is it about us? I mean- me? Dating both of you?" 

Winter shook his head, still looking a little lost. 

"Is there something bothering you?" 

"I don't... think so," he said haltingly. 

"Okay." There might not be something _bothering_ him, but maybe there was still something on his mind. "Nothing wrong." 

Winter glanced at him. "You don't believe me." 

"I don't know. Tony knows you pretty well, and he thinks there's something off. He didn't say you were acting bad or anything, but he's kinda worried. There doesn't have to be something _wrong_ for it to be effecting you." At least, not according to one of the self-help books he'd read. Steve thought it was funny that he read them, but Bucky felt like he had a lot to catch up on-- and, according to some of the material he'd read, a lot of trauma to work through. 

"Hm." His expression shifted from concerned to his usual resting face. 

Ah. So not only was Tony right, but Winter wanted to avoid talking about it with Bucky too. Whatever 'it' might be. "If it's about me, I wish you'd just say it. A handful of dates doesn't exactly make a world-stopping romance." 

"Stop that." 

Bucky blinked, taken aback. Winter could be short with him people sometimes, but Bucky wasn't normally part of that group. And it was little details like that had made Bucky work up the courage to ask to date Winter in addition to Tony. "Um." 

Winter grit his teeth, then breathed out slowly. "I don't know how to... ask for more." Bucky waited a second to see if he was going to add anything else, but Winter stayed stubbornly silent. Or maybe he just wasn't in the mood to keep talking-- that happened quite a bit. 

"More what?" Bucky prompted. 

Winter glared at him. 

"Whatever it is, I'm sure Tony wouldn't mind. You've been together for years." 

"It's not _Tony_." 

Bucky blinked again. "Me? What about me? What do you want? It's not like I could judge you even if I wanted to." People didn't often look at Bucky like he was an idiot, but that's all that was in Winter's gaze this time. Bucky cast his mind back, remembering what they'd been talking about before he'd realized that _he_ was the one getting thought about here. Right, Winter had said that he didn't know how to ask for more, so what could more mean? Normally in a relationship, it would mean something physical, but- oh. That was it. The first time that they'd kissed, it hadn't exactly been pleasant. After that, they'd kissed for a while, but they hadn't done anything since. Not so much as a peck or a hug. "I'm not as easy to understand as Tony-" for Winter, anyways "-but you could still grab me and kiss me. We don't have to have a big conversation if you don't want." 

"Last time..." Winter said, trailing off there. He didn't need to elaborate, because there was only that morning run that could mean 'last time' in this conversation. 

"Last time was different. We're on the same page now." 


End file.
